I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
