this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
