Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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