Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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