we made out on top of his cat.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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