I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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