kristin has been a bad kristin
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
