Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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