know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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