I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
