Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize