Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
