You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize