My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
