I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I believe in your delicious
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