I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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