can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
