This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
