Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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