Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
