Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
These tits shall not be calmed
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
