i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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