Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
