dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
