No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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