South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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