yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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