yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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