Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
