"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
