Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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