This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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