hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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