So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
