I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize