Say something about gay babies.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
