what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
