I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
