Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
