i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
