Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
