Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
