let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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