I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my liver is dry heaving
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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