Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
