Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
