WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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