Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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