just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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