Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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