5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
True strength comes from lack of pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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