I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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