How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
