I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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