piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
