Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
