Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
