Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
