I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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