Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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