Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
