but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
