i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
