3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
