he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I wear drunk well.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
