The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
