why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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