my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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