the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
