So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize