If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
People in love make me want to vomit
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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