we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize